YOUTH

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MANUFACTURER'S RECALL

THE maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S-I-N, as it is primarily symptomized by loss of moral judgment.

Some other symptoms:

(a) Loss of direction
(b) Foul vocal emissions
(c) Amnesia of origin
(d) Lack of peace and joy
(e) Selfish or violent behavior
(f) Depression or confusion in the mental component
(g) Fearful
(h) Idolatry

The manufacturer, who is neither liable or at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service, free of charge to correct this SIN defect.

The number to call for the recall station in your area is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.

Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN by pressing R-E-P-E-N-T-A-N-C-E. Next, download J-E-S-U-S into the heart. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, the JESUS repair will replace it with:

(a) Love
(b) Joy
(c) Peace
(d) Long suffering
(e) Gentleness
(f) Goodness
(g) Faith
(h) Meekness
(i) Temperance

Please see operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human unit without correction voids the manufacturer’s warranty, exposing owner to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded.

For free emergency service, call on J-E-S-U-S.

DANGER: The human units not receiving this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect must not enter heaven or else heaven will be infected.

Author: The Creator.

DIRECTIONS TO HIS HOUSE
author unknown

Make a right onto Believeth Blvd. Keep straight and go through the green light, which is God. From there, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith, which is over troubled water. When you get off the bridge, make a right turn and keep going forward. You are on the King’s Highway-Heaven-bound. Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost. Then exit off onto Grace Blvd. From there, make a right turn on Gospel Lane. Keep going forward and then make another right on Prayer Blvd. As you go on your way, yield not to the traffic on Temptation Ave. Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END. Pass up Envy Drive, and Have Avenue. Also, pass Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Lane, and Backbiting Blvd. But you have to go down Long-suffering Lane, Persecution Blvd., Trials, and Tribulations Ave. But that’s all right, because VICTORY Blvd. is straight ahead.

God's Cyber-Contest-

- by Karl Diers

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."

So down Satan and Jesus sat at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It’s gone! It’s all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."

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At the new St John Bosco Oratory youth center, we can teach the youth how to create, design and print their own parish youth newsletters. Ever have great ideas on how to create a newsletter .